Neece’s Pieces

It’s still gloomy here, and we may end up indoors at a mall. But, I’m hoping that by the time I get the monkeys home and changed, the rain will break so we can head out to go trick or treating. If all else fails though, I’ll just let take the monkeys to dinner wearing their costumes so they get use out of them.

Can I just say how happy I am that Friday is finally here? Work has been super hectic and I have had to stop myself about 6 times from cussing one of our clients out.  The sad part is, my clients are all the employees in my agency, and some of them seriously just don’t know how to act. But at least for two days, I won’t have to think about that.

Hopefully the rain doesn’t put a damper on the weekend activities too much.  I’m planning on going to the Day of the Dead parade with the monkeys, which is outside at night.  Last year was the first year we went.  We did it for a Raza class I was taking, and so my whole class met at my professor’s house to get ready for it.  The goal was for each person to dress up as a famous, dead Latino/a.  I couldn’t think of who I wanted to dress up as, so my professor told me to be Arlen Siu.  She was Nicaraguan and Chinese and a revolutionary.  Perfect.

I couldn’t find any good pictures of her online so I just kept my hair down, wore a long skirt and a long-sleeved shirt.  The best part of it all though, was the face painting.  My professor had gotten some of his lady friends to come and paint everyone’s face to look like skeletons.  Even the monkeys had their faces painted.  It was lots of fun. Although, I felt like I looked more like a panda than a skeleton!

So, if I’m lucky, I won’t be stuck inside with some sugared up monkeys.  But, we will have to wait and see.

Until then, Happy Halloween ghouls and goblins!

Today is such a gloomy day.  It is expected to rain this evening, with a higher chance of raining tomorrow.  Halloween.  I’m kind of bummed, yet a little relieved. If it does rain, that means that trick-or-treating will be cut short, and I can go home and be warm. I’m sorry, but I can’t help that I don’t take well to hoards of little, sugar induced, costumed children around me. But, I guess we will have to wait and see what the weather has in store for us tomorrow.

So, last night, while I was in my cross-cultural gender and sex class, my professor had us watch a documentary about Harvey Milk.  He was the San Francisco Supervisor who was assassinated after only being in office for 11 months.  He was also the first openly gay politician in the country.

My professor had moved up the documentary from next week because Milk, hollywood’s tribute to Harvey, had premiered in San Francisco’s Castro district a few days earlier.  She wanted us to see and hear the real Harvey Milk before we went and saw Sean Penn as him.

Can I just say that I was completely moved by this documentary? I mean, even after putting what he did for gay rights aside, Harvey Milk was an amazing Supervisor who fought for everyone’s rights, just not those who were like him. 

There was a man that was interviewed in the documentary, an auto machinist.  When he first started speaking, he described how he couldn’t believe that the labor unions were going to support a “fruit.” And, then proceeded to say that after hearing what Milk had done as just a community activist, he slowly got on board with supporting him, even though Milk was considered different.

By the end of the documentary, this man had completely transformed.  His testimony is what almost brought me to tears.  And honestly, he didn’t say anything really compelling, other than that Harvey proved to be the right choice. Here he was, an older, white, heterosexual, male, who had grown up to believe that gays were from the devil, stating that there would never be anybody like Harvey Milk again.

My reason for writing about this is not just about everything going on in regards to Prop 8, but more so to explain how very important it is to get people into office that are and willing to stick up for those of us without a voice. Harvey Milk did this for San Franciscans, not just gay San Franciscans.

I hope that we will be able to say that about the people we elect into office come next week.

So much has happened since October 29, 2007. And I want to look back at how far I have come since those dark October nights…

The CBD had recently moved to my neck of the woods a few months prior, when he took a job up here to “be closer to the kids.” Let me also add that, he and I had already been apart for two (and then some) years, so even if there was a hint of him thinking he’d make me his again was so far from being realistic I still have to laugh out loud. Ha. Ha.

Now, moving right along, I did believe that him being in their life was important, but, I had already told him I was thinking about relocating to the area that he lived because the schools/activities were better there for the monkeys. I had also started researching schools for B-Wops, setting up interviews for myself, and applying to the local universities.

But, being the great person he was (and still is), he disregarded what I was doing and took a job here without giving me any warning. So, I stayed put. And, in hindsight, I guess I should thank him for being such a jerk and not listening to me (you’ll see why later).

Fast forward a few months, B-Wops starts kindergarten.  Everything is as kosher as can be, except that behind the scenes the CBD is driving me insane.  He is picking up the kids without my permission, yelling at Lil Miss Nasty Girl’s preschool teachers, enlisting a way too nosey mother to get B for him so I couldn’t pick him up.  All while not giving me any child support.

Wait, scratch that, let me go back before all of this.  Right before this madness ensued, the CBD hardly saw the kids.  He made every excuse not to be with them.  First saying, he was staying in a hotel and the kids would be bored, then his apartment was empty, or that he had no clothes for them so he couldn’t do anything with him.  Even saying things to me like, “I’m not their babysitter, or “I need to move on with my life too.”

I was stressing so much over this situation that my hair started falling out.  And, I don’t mean strands here and there, I mean that one day I woke up and I had a bald spot the size of my fist on the top of my head. I was lucky to have the gene for thick hair, so I was able to cover it up with a side swoop of the hair.  But, this wasn’t the only one I had.  A few months later I found another one, just as large in the back.  This one I can’t cover up, so now I’m forced to always wear my hair down.

Anyway, so things got pretty bad between the CBD and I.  He wouldn’t see the kids and he wasn’t giving any child support.  I finally had enough and I went to court to start the process. Of course he freaked, and the end result was him picking up the kids from school before I could leave work.

So, going back to last October. He had finally “settled in” to his new apartment, and had agreed to the kids spending the night there. I brought over everything the kids needed since the CBD’s whole thing was how he just didn’t have any clothes for them.

Well, Lil Miss Nasty Girl had fallen asleep on the ride to his apartment, so he met me outside to carry her (since I had my hands full with monkey supplies). Of course she wakes up right when he lays her down on his bed and is asking for her Halloween temporary tattoos.  They were in the car, so the CBD said he’d just run out and grab them since I was going to leave.

Looking back, I should have just brought them back myself.  But, I didn’t and the following was the result of that decision.

Everything was fine with the CBD and I, as we walked to my car.  And then, I asked him when he was going to be able to give me some money, because tuition was due and I had to pay for daycare and blah, blah, blah.  I basically told him that the bills didn’t stand still while he was being a stingy son-of-a-bitch.  Of course, in a nicer manner though.

Well, he must have thought I really did call him a stingy son-of-a-bitch, because his whole demeanor changed within seconds.  After his head did a complete 180, he started in on me about how he’s not going to give me money, I’m a bad mother, I’m a bitch, he even called me a home wrecker. (In which, I had to stop and think if he had somehow found out about my late night adventures).

So I asked him whose home I wrecked, and he said ours.  His and mine.  To me, that was prime reason for me to go off on him and tell him about himself.  Again, possibly not the wisest decision I made, but hey, how often do I ever make those?

I started in on him.  I’m good at insults, I tell ya.  Especially with him.  I know exactly what words to say and when to say them.  And, more importantly, I won’t back down.  He knows it from personal experience, that…I’ll fight a dude.

And, that’s exactly what I said to him.  I called him out for trying to act all big and bad, and told him he needed to get his ass back inside and watch his children since he swore he was a better parent than I was. 

Well, that didn’t go over well with him.  At that point, I had unlocked my car door, which unlocks all of the doors.  So, he being the “bigger” person, went and opened up every door including the hatch (is that what it’s called?) and walked away as he called me a bitch one more time.

I got out of the car, mouth running, possibly calling him a little bitch for the move he just pulled, and proceeded to walk around my car and shut the doors.  Again, this didn’t go over well.  He jetted as fast as he could to the driver side (I left that door open) and hopped in.  I flew into the passenger seat and went for my keys which were in the ignition because I knew that was what he was going to go for.

We fought for my keys.  I started punching, scratching, even pulled a Mike Tyson, except it was his bald ass head.  But, I won.  Although he had cut my finger, ripped my key chain off of my key, I had my key in my hand.  Victory.  But, no.  This man, the father of my children, wasn’t finished.  He grabbed my purse which was on the passenger side floor and fled my car.

I run to the driver’s side, shut the door, and run after him.  Only to hear a big thud.  He had thrown my purse, along with keys to my house, my brand new camera, make-up, and everything else of vital importance to me on the roof of his apartment complex.

And then, told me to call the cops, then walked away.  He knew, just as well as I did, that I would be in as much trouble as he would since I Mike Tyson’d his ass (well, head).  So, I was stuck.

For a period of about 3.5 seconds, I contemplated who I would call to come rescue me.  And, the first person I thought of was my friend Sir Grumps-a-lot, Grumps for short.  Embarrassed, I call him crying and spit out as much as I could about what happened without sounding like a complete nut.  He told me to stay put, and he’d be there in a minute.

Within five minutes, he was there to my rescue.  This man, that didn’t owe me anything, came to help me out of the mess that I had made. And, although I wish I could say that Grumps went into the CBD’s apartment and broke him into pieces, he instead, called his friend to get my purse (and all its belongings) off of the roof.

Now, I knew that Grumps had been crushing on me for a while, but he, as well as I, had done some things that I just felt were not ammicable reasons to date each other. Ok, moreso, myself and the shady business, but I felt that it was my moral duty to not be with him because of the person I was.  Plus, my commitment phobia kept getting in the way.

But, after that night, I knew that I had to give Grumps a chance.  After all, he saved me from the evil wrath of the CBD.  He also knew everything about me, and still accepted me and all of my faults. 

Well, a year later so much has changed.  Granted, one post will not suffice for all the wretched things the CBD has done, it at least shows what I have had to deal with.  And, although the CBD now has a girlfriend of his own, things are still rocky between the CBD and I. And, as much as I do like his girlfriend, I just really want to take her aside and tell her how crazy and deranged he is. But I know that would only come back to bite me in the ass (or head).

I have tried to work on how much he irritates me.  I really have.  But, as much as I try to let things go, he makes it so easy for me to turn into that person I was a year ago. I mean, I can honestly and truthfully say that I despise him completely.  He’s a piece of shit.  If I could, I’d spit on him every time I had to interact with him, but alas, my monkeys come first, so I keep all horrible thoughts to myself. (Hey, I never said that my idea of working on letting things go was an easy process).

One thing did come from the CBD’s disturbing behavior however, the relationship of Grumps and myself.  And, although I have my moments of wanting to back out completely and do things on my own, I know that having Grumps in my life is what I need.  He balances me out, and keeps me grounded.

As much as my relationship with the CBD was based around hatred, I can say that the relationship with Grumps is the complete opposite.  Yeah, we have our issues, but, in the end, he makes me happy.  And, more importantly, he does the Robot when LMNG and I need help saving B-Wops from the aliens!

So, after a year of ups and downs, I can now say thank you to the CBD, for at least bringing me to love an amazing man. And, if I were to ever actually say thank you to him, this is what I would say…Thank you CBD for that night in which you broke my key chain, sliced my finger, and threw my purse on your roof.  Because of you, I can love again.  So, thank you, for ruining my life for so long, because in all honesty, it was your crazy antics which made me fall in love with Grumps in the first place.  (Of course, I’d tell him to kiss my ass and go to hell first, but, I’d still say thank you after).

I’ll write more another time about love and how scary it is.  Until then, I’m going to bask in the idea that for the first time in my life I am actually pleased with a decision I made. Now if only my friends would hop on board with that…

My mother, my most wonderful, amazing, brilliant, intelligent mother, went to Vegas this past weekend.  I got a voice mail from her Friday morning saying she was at the airport and was going to Vegas for business.  I thought to myself, wow, sounds like fun.  Business in Vegas.

I didn’t think twice about my mom being there, I knew that she would enjoy her time, but my mom is a hard worker, so I figured she would only get a few hours of relaxation time while she was in Sin City.  Well, Friday night, I sent her a picture of Lil Miss Nasty Girl as Afro Woman via text message.  (Now, my mom isn’t the savviest when it comes to texting, but she is slowly getting used to the concept). She responded by asking me to send her more pictures. 

Of course I didn’t because I’m a horrible daughter.  And I still can’t follow directions properly.  Plus Lil Miss Nasty had already ran off before I could snap some more.

Anyway, so Saturday night comes along.  I’m asleep on the couch at 8 PM.  But during one of my many night time ADD attacks, I wake up and see I have a text from my mom.  Stating:  Drunk and Happy in Vegas, about to see Menopause.

I wake up, just enough, to text her back saying I knew she really wasn’t there for business, but to have fun anyway. And, then proceed to go back to sleep.

Well, yesterday I was speaking to Smell and I told her about the text I got from mom and she says, “Yeah, now she’s sick.” I laugh and say how she must have partied too hard in Vegas.

I finally talk to my mom today, and she is home, sick.  The people in her office told her to stay home because she tends to be contagious, although I think sicknesses due to long weekends in Vegas tend not to be.  But, regardless, she is home on strict orders from her coworkers to get better.

If only my mom knew that this is what happens when you live it up in Vegas.  Oh well, a few more “business trips” and she’ll get the hang of it, I’m sure.

Anyway, I totally suck (but what’s new about that), and I didn’t take any pictures of the B O’lantern, so I promise, promise I’ll do it tonight and post them.

Last week was a crazy week here at work.  One of the supervisors had emergency surgery three weeks ago due to an appendicitis and she’s been out ever since. So, I have been volun-told to take up her duties.  Now, mind you, she is not my supervisor nor do I know exactly what she does. But, that obviously did not matter being that I was elected by the powers-that-be to stand in her place.

Because of this, I’ve been running around these last few weeks trying to make sure the guys I work with have everything in perfect order.  It is borderline holding their hands, but hey, that’s what needs to happen for them to get off their behinds and work. If not, they will go batty and refuse to do anything until it is to their liking.  (This is what happens when the City hires incompetent people…I’m just sayin’.)

So, needless to say, life at work has been crazy.  And, it got even crazier on Friday.  Luckily, I had asked for the day off, weeks in advance, to chaperone B-Wops’ field trip to a pumpkin patch.  So I avoided the headache for at least one day.

Anyway, after being lost in a hay maze, twice, for forty minutes each time, I can say that I had a blast hanging out with all the little monkeys.

I definitely enjoy being able to chaperone his field trips.  This is one of the only ways I can interact with him at school since I work like a maniac the rest of the time.

After the field trip (in which the CBD chaperoned too) B-Wops had his Halloween dance.  His school does not allow the kids to dress up on the 31st, but offers a dance for K-8 where the kids can come dressed up. And, Friday was the night for that.

B-Wops was Boba Fett, son of Jenga Fett, if that helps.  According to the CBD, B-Wops was the guy who captured Han Solo and froze him to that wall thingy in Star Wars. Although that only kind of made sense to me, I just said OK when B asked to be him. Speaking of Star Wars, though, there was definitely a theme that night; B-Wops’ bffs were both dressed up in Star Wars garb, one a clone trooper, the other, Darth Vader. Along with about seven other monkeys running around in Star Wars attire.

Lil Miss Nasty Girl was dressed up too.  She started off as Wonder Woman, but somewhere throughout the night, she became Afro Woman. She managed to take off all accessories to her costume and grabbed the Afro puffs the CBD had gotten for me to wear and put them on as part of her costume. I swear, that girl’s a nut.  Definitely not from my side of the gene pool.

The kids had a blast and totally fell asleep even before I pulled out of the parking lot to head home.  But, as in every Friday night that they stay up past their bedtime, one of them was up before 8 AM, Saturday morning. This time, it was Lil Miss Nasty.

Anyway, so Saturday continued with the normal rituals, gymnastics, farmer’s market, gymnastics, etc.  B-Wops missed his soccer game due to a schedule conflict, but didn’t seemed bothered at all, being that we were going to carve the pumpkin he had picked from his field trip and the one we had gotten from the farmer’s market.

He drew the face on the one he had picked and LMNG and I did the second one, which we named the B O’lantern because of the mouth and missing teeth. (I’ll post pictures tomorrow).

It was their dad’s Saturday night, so off they went to spend the night with him. And there I was, with nothing to do on a Saturday night for the first time in months.  All of my friends, (and I repeat, All…as in local) had gone on a Halloween Boat Cruise-y thing for the evening.

Now, I shouldn’t be so shallow as I am about to sound, but…my feelings were totally hurt about this whole boat cruise-y thing.  I wasn’t told about it until last week, and being that my life involves too wild and crazy monkeys, there was no way (if I were to actually be invited and say yes and by my ticket in time) pull off procuring a costume in time. Needless to say, I was bummed.

I already have issues of not “fitting in,” and yes, I’m a grown ass woman, but this is a reoccurring theme in my life.  So, when things like this happen, where one person thinks the other told me, but never mentions it themselves, it kinda gets to me.  It sucks always feeling left out.

I don’t know, it just always makes me reevaluate my life when things like this happen.  I swear, I am not used to quiet nights, so when they do happen, my mind starts wandering and it makes me go batty. 

When I think about these things happening to me, I start worrying about the monkeys.  Especially B-Wops.  I don’t know why I worry more about him than Lil Miss Nasty.  Maybe because she is strong and daring, and basically just doesn’t give a damn what other people think (I should be worried about that, right?!), and not to say that B-Wops isn’t, he’s just emotional like me.  Poor child.

I can already see it happening with B-Wops, though.  His two bffs are pretty tight and do a lot of things outside of school together.  And B is always the odd man out. I just hope that he becomes stronger than his mom and doesn’t let those things get to him like they get to me. I’m sure he will be okay though, because he already is a better person than I ever will be. So, I’ll cross my fingers and just hope for the best.

With all of that being said, I shouldn’t say that my whole night was a bust because I was stuck inside.  A certain love interest was with me, and as I decided to fall asleep on the couch at 8 PM, he laid on the floor next to me and listened to me snore (although I still believe that I was only “breathing deeply”). Now, if that isn’t love, than I don’t know what is.

I think I ended up sleeping a good 13 hours that night and I probably would have slept more if I didn’t have to go pee so bad in the morning.  Maybe I need to look into a better alternative to quiet Saturday nights than sleeping them away.

Homework is always an idea. Or, maybe even cleaning…